Introduction to In-Game Text
This section contains the dialogue of DKC's Kong family helpers - including many comments by Cranky which are present in the game's data, but never seen during play.
Click to show/hide Cranky's text
Well, well! I didn't expect to see YOU today!
You're doing pretty good to get this far...
So you found me, did ya?! What do you want?!
Who told you I was here? Was it that obnoxious Funky Kong?
Well, well! Look what the cat dragged in!
Haven't seen you in this neck of the woods in a long time!
What do you want, eh? I'm a busy ape, I am!
Ahh! At last! Somebody to chat with!
You're lucky you caught me, I was just heading out.
Have you brought back those bananas I loaned you?
Last time I saw you, you were wearing diapers!
Come over here and let me have a look at you!
Well looky what we have here!
Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?!
A whole mob of Kremlings just passed through!
This here's rhino country!
Hey boy! Can you believe the shack they stuck me in?!
Hey boy! Did you fetch me my paper?!
You big ape! I could hear you coming from miles away!
It's hard to find peace and quiet any more, with you around!
Sure, come on over! Beats talking to myself...
Ahh! It sorta takes me back, seeing you here!
Boy, this place has been busy lately! What with all the Kremlings, and now you!
Sure looks like I'm Mr. Popular today, yes siree!
Sure beats a visit from Mrs. Kong! How can I help you?
Fancy running into you two way out here!
I ain't got nothing left, so don't even ask.
I just gave my last barrel to that orangutan buddy of yours.
What in tarnation do you want?
More freeloaders?! Well I ain't got nothin' for ya, so scram!
Betcha won't get much further than this...
To DK (unused)
Donkey boy! Where's Diddy?
Donkey, you young whippersnapper! Long time no see!
Donkey boy! It seems like years since we last met!
Grandpa Greetings (unused)
It's about time you visited your frail, old Grandpa!
Hey! Can you spare your old pappy a banana?
And what have you brought for your old Grandpa?
Well, you've amazed your old Grandpa by getting this far!
So, you've finally come to get some game play advice from your old Grandpa!
To Diddy (unused)
Diddy boy! Where's Donks?
Diddy, you young pup! Boy, I can't believe how much you've grown.
In Jungle Hijinxs, stick to the tree tops to earn extra lives.
You can find the fun in Ropey Rampage between a rock and a hard place!
A leap of faith is all it takes to find Winky in Barrel Cannon Canyon.
Go bananas in the snake pit of the Reptile Rumble!
The crafty Croctopus corners his crock of collectibles in Coral Capers.
Level Tips (unused)
Burn rubber for the golden rhino in Bouncy Bonanza.
The bananas in Stop & Go Station will put you right!
Avoid Mine Cart Carnage and jump early to get the extra life.
Rolling some rubber will put you on the right road in Millstone Mayhem!
On Snow Barrel Blast,sometimes down will not take you out; <- unknown character it may help you go forward.
On Croctopus Chase, there's a right way and a wrong way to get past the barrels.
In Ice Age Alley, birds of a feather flock together to get your wings.
Bouncing the Bouncer will slide you to success during Slipslide Ride!
The TNT gives you a couple of real wall to wall blasts in Torchlight Trouble.
For Elevator Antics, you'll have to climb higher than a hornet's nest!
For you Trick Track Trekkers, the Gnawty twins gnow a secret!
In Mine Cart Madness, you're just 3 bounces away from bonus land.
Once you're in the Poison Pond, the right way is not the only way to get the point.
Blackout Basement could give you a sinking feeling, but you'll end up sky high!
Let Diddy hold out the TNT in Manic Mincers.
Take enough rope and you'll amaze yourself in the Misty Mine.
The Loopy Lights vulture's barrel will blow you away.
The Platform Perils vulture knows it's sometimes better to come down to earth.
You're in Tanked Up Trouble if you're all gassed up and no where to go!
In Orang-utan Gang, follow the last barrel down to discover a barrel of laughs!
A single banana is all you need for a bonus in Tree Top Town.
Get on down with the bananas and get ready to party in Temple Tempest!
Animal Buddy Tips
Keep your eyes peeled for Rambi the rhino! He can crash into almost any hidden room.
He can't really fly, but Expresso the ostrich can flutter about.
Enguarde the swordfish will help you get straight to the point!
Rambi the rhino can help you, but he'll want to charge for it!
I hear if you roll off a platform, and press the jump button, you'll do a super jump.
Someone told me that if you hold down the Y Button, you can run!
I read in the manual that you can jump farther if you hold down the run button.
I reckon that Rambi the rhino could break open just about any hidden entrance.
If you bounce a keg off a wall and then jump on it as it rolls back, you can ride it!
If you roll attack a baddie, your speed increases when you hit the next one!
I was told that if you bounce on eight consecutive baddies, you'll get an extra life.
I heard that Expresso the ostrich can't jump on baddies. I guess his legs are too thin.
If you see a barrel with stars on it, break it open! It's a mid point marker.
Find Candy and she can save your game for you!
Funky can send you anywhere you've already been on the island, in a flash!
Look out for disguised holes on the ground and jump on them from a great height
Look out for banana arrows, they'll point the way! Of course, I wouldn't need them!
If you find any bananas, you can be sure the Kremlings have been there before you!
If you find any barrels with DK on them, smash them open! Your buddy might be inside!
Grab any extra life balloons quickly, before they float away!
Floating barrels will break as soon as you touch them.
Steel ringed barrels break only when they hit a wall.
Steel kegs are indestructible, follow them and they'll mow down all baddies in their path!
Hold the run button down and jump on baddies to gain extra spring to your leaps!
Bounce on the fixed tires to hurdle obstacles and reach bonuses!
Push the free tires to areas where they will help you find hidden bonus levels.
Klaptrap's teeth are too big to use the roll attack! You need to jump on him!
Zingers sport spikes on their backs! You can't jump on them unless you're riding Winky!
Klump's hard hat protects him against your jump attack. You'll have to roll him!
Krusha is the toughest Kremling-- only a barrel will knock him out!
You can roll over Slippa, or just squash him with a jump attack!
Gnawty the beaver can be rolled or jumped on!
You kids today! You don't have any respect for your elders!
We never had movement like this when I was in video games!
All this fun can't be good for you!
I bet they wasted half the memory already, just on this section alone!
They can't keep this level of graphics up for much longer!
We used to be lucky if we got three shades of gray, let alone any real colors!
We used to have to survive with a two frame walk!
Sometimes our sprites used to change size for no apparent reason!
We never had any of this fancy 3-D stuff! Oh no, we had to survive on what we had!
And what little we did have, we were happy with!
Well, I've never seen anything like it!
Enjoy this demo while you can, it can't last much longer!
That's right, 4 shades of gray, in a 2x2 character block, that's all we had...
I can't play this game, the colors are all too rich for my poor old eyes!
Why, even the bananas have more frames and colors than I had in the entire game!
Look!...look at this!...as I rock, my beard swings! Waste of frames in my opinion!
Aye! That was when we had real game play, that was!
And this was developed with the latest state-of-the-art 3D workthingys, was it?
The trouble with you kids, is that you're all too soft!
The old games were far harder when I was a young 'un!
We used to play for hours on a single screen game and think we were lucky, and we were!
You wouldn't last two minutes in a real game!
I could get through D.K.Country with only one life, easy!
I'm talking about when games were games!
3 lives and 3 continues, that's all we had!
Games never looked like this when I was a lad!
And we were much better off in those days as well
Bet you thought this was 64-bit eh, boy?!
I've got more game play in my little finger than you've got in this whole game!
Y'know what they say, all graphics and no game play!
32 meg..? That would be more than 30 games in my day, and they'd be great games, too!
Back in my days, we used to have real game play...
You know what's even worse? When you get to the end, and then have to start again!
You wouldn't know a good game if you were in it!
A single joystick, and a single button is all that's needed to make good game play!
I wouldn't be seen dead in a game like this one!
I say you can't better the graphics, sounds and playability of a Game & Watch!
So you're back again! I knew a punk kid like you couldn't do the job...
That was quick. You didn't leave me enough time to think of any other stupid comments!
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, you didn't listen last time!
You have to do better than that!
You only just left!
Back again?! That was quick!
Came back to the master for more advice, hunh?!
Still got you beat, hunh?!
Yup! Don't make game players like they used to!
Okay, I'll do the level for you!... Naw!.. Only kidding!
I don't know how you dare show your face in here again, after that pitiful performance!
That's all folks!
There's nothing more I can tell you.
You know all you need to know, for now.
Come back and see me sometime, I'll be here!
I don't know any more than that at the moment.
That's all there is to it. Piece of cake if you ask me.
So long, suckers! Try not to hurt yourself out there!
That's all the advice old Cranky here can give you.
I'm getting tired, I gotta take me a nap!
You practically know more than I do, now. Well... almost.
I don't have anything else to tell you right now, maybe later.
I could sit here and rock all day, especially if you two leave me alone!
I gotta go now, I'll see you guys later... if you're lucky!
Well, that's about the size of it!
Say, is that the time? I gotta fly.
I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long!
Y'all come back now, hear?!
If you get stuck, come back and see me.
Can't say I expect to see you again, but you might get lucky, I guess.
It's been nice talking to you guys.
Eh sonny? Speak up, I can't hear you!
Donkey, I've seen enough! That tie-- turn it off!
This stereo sound is making my tired old ears bleed! Turn it down before you go!
All this game play is too much for me.
I'm back to my cabin for a nap!
Remember the original Donkey Kong? Think I'll go play that... see you later!
There's too many baddies around for my liking... I'm off to lie down!
I'd ask you in, but they didn't have any memory left to display the cabin interior!
Now, off you go!! See if you can't finish this ridiculous quest without my help!
Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. I didn't raise you in a barn!
See ya later, alligator! Ha! Ha!
After a while, crocodile!
Well done Donkey my boy! Who'd have thought a young whippersnapper like you
could've beaten that bunch of no good Kremlings? You've made an old man proud!
Go and look in your hoard, I think you'll be in for a surprise!
Full Completion Comments
What a player you are, Donkey my lad! You've beaten the Kremlings,
and found absolutely everything! You're nearly as good as I used to be!
Congratulations Red Team!
You whupped those crafty crocodiles and are first past the post!
Whatever happened to the Yellow Team? I guess those guys need more practice!
Whatever happened to the Red Team? I guess those guys need more practice!
Congratulations Yellow Team!
If I had been playing, I'd have found everything!
I'm sure there must be some bonus rooms you haven't found!
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Red Team! What happened to you two?
The Yellow Team finished ages ago! Too good for you were they, huh?
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Yellow Team! What happened to you two?
The Red Team finished ages ago! Too good for you were they, huh?
Click to show/hide Funky's text
Whoa, Dudes! My name's Funky Kong!
My bodacious Jumbo Barrel can launch you to any point on the island!
Most unfortunately, it can only send you to a place you've already been to...
which is a complete and total bummer, let me tell you!
To both Kongs
Yeah, crucial Kongs! If you feel the need for speed, jump in and like, jet!
You dudes need some lives or something? Jungle Hijinxs is the place for that!
Yo Gorillas! Go see old man Cranky, he can help you out!
Lookin' good, Kongs! Buckle up and blast off, you're outta here!
If you guys see Candy on your travels, tell her I'll give her surfing lessons anytime!
Fancy a flight, DK Dude? You know the score, hop in and high tail it!
Whoa, Donkey dude! Maybe your little surf buddy's on another level. Go check 'em out!
Yo Diddy cool! Lost the big guy again? Blast off back and see the scene!
Still talking to yourself, huh? Check out the jungle, I'm sure you'll find your buddy!
Click to show/hide Candy's text
Hi! I'm Candy Kong and this is my Save Point!
If you want to save your current game, jump into my spinning save barrel!
Hello guys, got anything worth saving?
Can I help you monkeys save your game?
How would you like a quick spin in my save barrel?
Yoo-hoo, Honey Kong! Now's a good time to save where you've gotten to!
It must have been hard work for you to come all this way! why not save your game?
Wow! You guys really came a long way! Save your game now, while you have a chance!