Funny Quotes!

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Funny Quotes!

Postby DKCplayer » July 20th, 2008, 2:28 pm

Seen a show/movie or read a book that had a line that made you laugh more than others? Post em here!

Example:

From The Simpsons episode "Girly Edition"

*Marge, Homer and his pet monkey Mojo are on the couch eating pizza.*
Homer: Marge, can I get a duck?
Marge: You already have a monkey!
Homer: *Pauses then points to Mojo* Can he get a duck?
Marge: NO!
*Mojo goes nuts and bashes pizza box*
:lol:
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Kiddy14 » July 21st, 2008, 11:28 am

From the FOP episode, Might-Mom and Dino-Dad meet the Crimson Chin.

*Timmy, Cosmo, Nega-Chin and Wanda poof into Timmy's room after his parents called him*
Timmy: You brought him here too!?
Wanda: Well, when you made the wish you said "We".
Cosmo: And "we" can mean anything. We three, we the people and my favorite...
*Cosmo starts flying around Wanda*
Cosmo: "Weeeeeeeee!"
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Jomingo » July 21st, 2008, 11:29 am

I remember that episode. :lol:
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby BlueTronic » July 21st, 2008, 12:22 pm

From the movie Meet Dave...

That Ketchup was very refreshing. I feel much better now. *Makes goofy grin* :mrgreen:

From Family Guy...

Judge: Peter Griffin, I sentence you to 30 years in prison.
Brian: Oh, no.
Meg: Oh no!
Stewie: Oh no.
Chris: OH NO
Lois: oh no
Kool Aid: *Busts through the wall* OH, YEEAAAHHHH!!
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby DKCplayer » July 21st, 2008, 4:39 pm

Classic Simpsons line from Lisa The Vegetarian:

Monty Burns and Smithers stand at the window of Burns' office.

Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly!
*They laugh. But they stop when the pig sails across the sky before them.]
Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, Sir?
Burns: Nooo, I'd still prefer not.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Kiddy14 » July 24th, 2008, 3:48 pm

From SpongeBob's episode Procrastination:

*SpongeBob sees everybody enjoying the day through the windows*
SpongeBob: It should be against the law to write an essay on such a super sailor-ific sunshiny day! Aww... I must go onward, because with this pencil, and the conjunction of this paper! *Happy face with puppy eyes* I'll be one step closer to my driver's license!
*A car starts off and then suddenly loses control and crashes*
Spongebob *stops day-dreaming*: Ohh yeeahh!

If anybody's wondering this scene and the chalesthenia(is probably a typo) one aren't censored in neither the DVD neither any other dubs.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby SmudgeKWOOD » May 21st, 2009, 5:48 pm

My favorite quotes are from David Ferrety, a golf announcer, often joined by Gary McCord.

*From the Tiger Woods PGA Tour video games:

"Sometimes when you hit a bad shot, you just want to kick yourself. Actually, I want to kick you, McCord."

*Hit shot out of bounds*
"That one`s heading to lion country. If you find it, you`re lion."

*Player hits shot into rough*
"Yummm, spiniach."

*Player hits it into the water*

"FISH KILLER!!!"

(Real golf) *T. Immelmen almosts goes in the river but finds a flat spot*

"Oh, he doesn`t even want the CROWD to be noisy."

Hmmm... some people didn`t laugh... google him
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Gnawzooka » May 21st, 2009, 5:56 pm

"Men are designed for short, brutal lives.

Women are designed for long miserable ones."

From the Lucifer Principle. :D

Also: http://thenerdsenturage.2ksite.com/have ... t74s0.html
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » November 28th, 2010, 8:35 am

"As you can tell by the song he sang as his entrance, David Hasselhoff is hooked on a feeling---the feeling he gets from six Vicadon..."-Seth MAcFarlen 'The Roast Of David Hasselhoff'

"But I thought you got in trouble for chasing a wood---" "My POINT is that all you heroes are the same."-Percy Jackson and Dionysus 'Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Titan's Curse'

"What's wrong? I thought you liked Frog's Breath."-Sally 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'

"Don't look at me, Bill, I'm hideous."-Fleur Delacour 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1'

"Where'd he get the shovel?" "Hermione's bag."-these two boys behind me and my mom when we were watching 'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1' (OK, this technically isn't a quote from a book or movie but still)

"Why thank ye, Jack." "...You're welcome." "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."-Hector Barbossa and Jack Sparrow 'Pirates Of The Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Pearl'

"Charlie, did you talk to the weasel?" "No!" "*shoots laser at Charlie through his/her eys*DID YOU TALK TO THE WEASEL CHARLIE?!" "I SAID NO!!!" "Fool---I AM the weasel." "Oh no, Charlie what've you done?!" "OH COME ON HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO HAVE KNOWN THAT?!?!"-The blue unicorn, pink unicorn, and Charlie the unicorn in some You Tube hot topic video

"You can take Spiderpig with you!" "He's not Spiderpig anymore he's Harry Plopper."-Homer and Marge Simpson 'The Simpsons Movie'

"That's right Cindy---I'm gay."-Bobby 'Scary Movie'

"No not the guys from 'Jersey Shore'."-Becca Crane 'Vampires Suck'

"Ron White? Never heard of him. Probably gay."-Denis Leary 'The Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy'
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby HavocReaper48 » November 28th, 2010, 10:13 am

"So, you've made us come ALL THIS WAY... just to find out, we totally did not need to come all this way!?" --Matau

----

"Goku, where did you get that muffin from?"

"Muffin Button."

"But I didn't install a muffin button!"

"Then where did I get this muffin from? O_o" --DBZ Abridged
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » November 29th, 2010, 11:03 am

Ooooh, DBZ Abridged! I should go look it up!

"Cuz you're emo."-Naruto 'Naruto: Abridged Series'

"Hey, look, Shinichi! It's a crime sce---I mean there's no line!"-Rachel Moore (or I think it's Ran Mourgi in the Japanese version) 'Case Closed The Abridged Series'

"Alrighty then."-Ace Ventura 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective'

"MY FUSHIGI."-my brother (same as with the thing about Harry Potter and the shovel)
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » December 28th, 2010, 6:56 am

"That outfit's skimpy..." "Put some longer pants on Ca---" "NO!!!!!! MAKE 'EM SHORTER!!!!!!"-my dad, me, and my stepmom when I was playing DK:BB
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby DKCplayer » December 28th, 2010, 1:00 pm

The Simpsons
Reverend Lovejoy: So I'm afraid I wasn't a minister when I blessed your tin roof shanty.
Cletus: So THAT'S why that ghost keeps-a comin' to the window.
Mailman *at window*: Afternoon.
Cletus: Fly away ghostie! Go back to yer haunted cornfield!!


Toy Story 2
*Rex bursts into an important discussion and recreation of Woody's kidnapping, wrecking it*
Rex: How do you spell FBI?

Lucky Star
Tsukasa: *randomly* Rice cakes are stretchy. :3
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » December 29th, 2010, 11:56 am

"That's what she said."-Me

"What would you like for Christmas, Jose?" "I think we should get him a bigger stick." "That's not what your mother said."-Jeff Dunham, Peanut, and Jose Jalapeno on a stick!

"He takes everything that's mine!" "Like what?" "For example, he took my catch phrase and made it, 'Silence! I screw you!'" "That's to bad." "But it's catchy!"-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff Dunham

"Huh? Hey what happened? Oh good. Youtube has gone into maintenance mode. For now, we're safe." "We're also... no strangers to love." (Vortex appears.) "Aw, guys, don't do THAT! He'll come back." (Silence.) "You know the rules." (Rick Astley appears.) "AND SO DO I!!!!!!!!!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" "(in Russian)Communism!"-Charlie, Blue, Pink, and Rick Astley(And so do I!!!!!) 'Charlie the Unicorn'
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby The Guy » January 2nd, 2011, 9:02 am

The Simpsons:

"See you in HELL! ... from Heaven!"

- Reverend Lovejoy
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby RattleBattle » January 21st, 2011, 10:07 pm

Invader Zim:

Zim: "Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP!!!??"

Gir: "I MADE IT MAHSELF!!!!"

Zim: -Eyeball twitches.-
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » January 23rd, 2011, 8:02 am

Question: can we put quotes from fics we've read or fics we've written?
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby CaptainEddie » January 23rd, 2011, 2:41 pm

Invader Zim.

Dib: You're just jealous!

Zim: This has nothing to do with jelly!

----------------

*Zim calls GIR, he busts out of a turkey in the background*

GIR: It's me! I was the turkey all along!

Zim: I was wondering what that turkey was doing there.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » February 13th, 2011, 8:16 am

"El gato y el sombrero y burro! Hola! Mi allmos Alejandra!"-Me making my little brother laugh
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby SimianSegue » April 4th, 2011, 1:58 pm

"Hey! Let's all go swimming in my pool! And by pool, I mean bathtub, and by swimming I mean sex!"- JFK from Clone High
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Funkythemainmonkey » April 6th, 2011, 2:05 pm

Dr. Frank N. Furter: It's not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Smell ya later, dudes and dudettes!
Funky 8-)
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » April 13th, 2011, 9:05 am

Haha, I have that movie.

"I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie and then you throw HIM off like an old overcoat for ROCKY! I loved you... DO YOU HEAR ME, I LOVED YOU!!!!! And what did it get me?! Yeah, I'll tell ya---a big NOTHING, that's what! You've gotta choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the ROCKS in his head!"(Silence. Frank N. Furter looks behind him to Magenta and Riff-Raff and nods, turning Columbia into stone.)-Columbia 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'

"Justin Bieber needs to die in a fire."-Me and my friend

"But I thought you LIKED them. They liked YOU." "THEY DIDN'T LIKE ME!!!! THEY NEVER LIKED ME!!!!"-Magenta and Riff-Raff 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'

"Yay! Run over ME first! :D"-Me when we were at the track today.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Funkythemainmonkey » May 23rd, 2011, 12:02 pm

Little Old Lady: Oh, hello, there. Are you two heading for Las Vegas?
Beavis: Yeah. We're gonna score.
Little Old Lady: Oh, well, I hope to score big there, myself. I'm mostly gonna be doing the slots.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. Yeah. Do they have a lot of sluts in Las Vegas?
Little Old Lady: Oh, there are so many slots, you won't know where to begin.
Beavis: Whoa. Hey, Butt-Head, this chick is pretty cool. She says there's gonna be tons of sluts in Las Vegas.
Butt-head: Cool.
Little Old Lady: It's so nice to meet young men who are so well-mannered.
Beavis: Yeah. I'm gonna have money and a big screen TV and there's gonna be sluts everywhere. It's gonna rule.
Little Old Lady: Well, that's nice.

From Beavis and Butthead Do America
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby SimianSegue » May 26th, 2011, 9:28 am

That movie is an animated classic(No kidding!)
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 26th, 2011, 11:40 am

"Oh... oh yeah... Oh it's just like a real hand!(Pause. He looks behind him at the hand and gets the sickest idea EVER)"-Howard 'The Big Bang Theory'
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » July 27th, 2011, 5:32 am

So to get this topic going again...

Anderson: "How the blood-soaked Protestant hell did you do that?!" Alucard: "F*** you, that's how." (*TFS* Hellsing Ultimate Abridge)
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » December 14th, 2011, 3:52 pm

Once again:

"PAPER PLATES!!!!"-TheBigT2000 in his video of a recap of the three forms of Ganon you have to fight in Twilight Princess

"I love doing that!"-Castro in Robot Chicken every time he shoots someone
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 18th, 2012, 8:55 am

Caesar: "Who'll dare raise a hand to me with the ferocious Lucius Vorenus at my side?" Posca: "Ah!" *Pause.* Posca: "Clever." Caesar: "All these years together and it still surprises you I can tie my sandals."-Rome season one finale The Kalends Of February (haven't seen it, was on www.tv.com in BIM)

Brutus: "Heavens I entirely forgot. Today's your birthday isn't it?" Cassius: "Is it? I believe you're right." *They shake hands.* Brutus: "Happy birthday. Sorry there's no cake." Cassius: "Next year, eh? Bake me an extra big one." Brutus: "I shan't forget." Cassius: "No cinnamon. Makes me sneeze."-Rome season two in the episode Philippi

"I'm working for Caligula!"-Berta in Two And A Half Men

"You don't screw the roommate agreement, the roommate agreement screws YOU!"-Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 18th, 2012, 1:25 pm

"Bury me with my money!" Simon Greedwell

"Asta la, bye bye!" Paco Loco

"Before all else you must build muscle, then you must become hero to children everywhere." Zangief
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 18th, 2012, 2:11 pm

*Mark Antony has left Caesar's tent as Posca gets ready to shave the dictator's face.* Caesar: "Try to avoid bloodshed this time." Posca: "Well wait a while and Pompey can shave you instead." *A look stuck in the crossroads of horror, "Shut up while you're ahead, Posca", and "b...*bleep*...ch, please" appears on Caesar's face.*-Rome season one finale The Kalends Of February
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 19th, 2012, 1:08 pm

"Go home and be a family man!" Guile

"This is proper Socialist reform!" Nikolai
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 19th, 2012, 1:50 pm

Lol Nikolai.

*The three are arguing in Caesar's tent.* Posca: "Ptolemy might use you to rouse the people against the common enemy." Caesar: "I have conquered Gaul, I have defeated Pompey Magnus---I think I can handle a small boy and a eunuch." Posca: "A small boy with a hundred thousand men." Caesar: "I am aware if that! He's still a boy nonetheless." Antony: "You seem to forget that our war is not over yet. Cato and Scipio are still at large, given time they will raise an army." Caesar: "And when they do I shall crush them." Antony: "I'm glad you're so confident. Some would call it hubris." Caesar: "It's only hubris if I fail."-Rome season one episode eight Caesarion

"Pullo, when was the last time you were with a woman who wasn't crying or demanding payment?"-Vorenus in the Rome season one premiere The Stolen Eagle
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 21st, 2012, 2:45 pm

"Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, that everyone died. The End!" Patrick Star
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 21st, 2012, 2:51 pm

"I think I will go home and drink myself stuPid."-Cicero in Rome season one finale Kalends Of February

*Brutus and Cassius are looking at a picture drawn of the former and Caesar.* Brutus: "I'm not worried about that, it's just... Do I really look like THAT?" Cassius: "A bit." Brutus: "Shame."-Rome season one episode eleven The Spoils
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 21st, 2012, 3:00 pm

"When in doubt, pinky out!" Patrick Star

"That blew so hard, that all my Super Nintendo games started working again!" Link from a fan video
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 21st, 2012, 3:30 pm

*Rob is telling Drama and Chanel he is entering them in the cover boy and cover girl pagent.* Rob: "DADDY IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF IT!!!!!!!" Drama: "*as he and Chanel stare while the two and Big try not to laugh*Yes Daddy." Rob: "Good!*starts walking out of Drama's office*Daddy loves you both. :D"-Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory

"Dyrdek?"-Rob Dyrdek in Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory

"I like birds. I don't like eggs, there's something sordid about eggs.*looks at Octavian(who is tying to recover as she lays beside him on the bed)*We shan't serve them anymore---unless you object."-Livia in Rome season two episode nine

"You're just like your father---simple as milk."-Atia of the Julii in Rome season one episode five The Ram Has Touched The Wall

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!"-Johnny Knoxville

"That's why it's so stringy! It's been that way for months!"-Johnny Knoxville in Jackass 3.5
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 22nd, 2012, 2:30 pm

"Only the best fail" Super Luigi!

"Should you really be poking it like that" Squidward

"Hey, who's the doctor here?" Spongebob in response to Squidward

"Woah - BIG MAN!" Dixie Kong
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 22nd, 2012, 2:48 pm

"I'm ready!"-SpongeBob

An you honestly know what Octavian is recovering from or do you just find it best not to know? ;)
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 22nd, 2012, 2:51 pm

"Why do I get myself in these situations?" The Sickest Kids

"Nobody wins when everyone's losing." Theory of a Dead Man

I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 22nd, 2012, 2:59 pm

*The two are eating sushi and discussing what they like about each other.* Tori: "I like how you're never afraid to say what you think." Jade: "That's stupid!" Tori: "See?"-Victorious

Never mind then. :3
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 22nd, 2012, 3:02 pm

"When I die, you stay away from my funeral." Squidward

"You got the thing!" Commentor on a Zelda video
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 22nd, 2012, 3:06 pm

"...and at the end of act five, they both kick the bucket. :D"-Austin from The Reduced Shakespeare Company
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 22nd, 2012, 3:10 pm

"And Douglas is mah big bruh." Chibisai Kong

"The inner machinations of my mind are an inigma!" Patrick Star

Say, I think we've infuse enough life in these topics for one night, eh Chibisai Kong? I have a feeling it's against the rules to post too much.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 22nd, 2012, 3:12 pm

Well we haven't been gotten onto yet but I suppose you're right.
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby krematoa » May 25th, 2012, 11:10 am

Jake Blues from The Blus bros.
JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!!! *Do a bunch of hand backflips*
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 25th, 2012, 12:23 pm

*She and Hanssen are arguing.* "Listen here you depressing giant Swede..."-Connie Beauchamp in the holby City series 13 episode Snow Queen right before insulting Henrik Hanssen
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 25th, 2012, 2:22 pm

"They can make 2+2=fish!" Crocker

"Egg. Nog. Eggnog." Timmy's Dad
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Chibisai Kong » May 26th, 2012, 6:14 am

"Everything I know is a lie!"-Sheen from Jimmy Neutron
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Re: Funny Quotes!

Postby Super Luigi! » May 26th, 2012, 4:12 pm

"Well, it's official. I have no life" Chibisai Kong

"It's just a bowl of milkless air." Hugh Neutron
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