Short Story
Once upon a time, in the merry old land of England, there was a young boy named Claus. Claus was a good boy, always doing what he was told, eating his vegetables, doing his chores. So, as a reward for his good behavior, his sweet parents got him a German shepherd. “Oh Mummy!” chirped Claus! “I am ever so happy!” Claus’s parents lectured him that a pet was a great responsibility. Claus, too excited to listen, went to go play with his new dog in the forest. While out in the forest, his dog sniffed out an odd object, stuck to a tree. Claus went to investigate, but: “Dinner!” called Claus’s mother. Claus called his new dog, which he had named Philippe, and raced home. After dinner, Claus climbed into his bed with his brand new pooch. During the night, Claus heard an odd noise from the kitchen. Claus just slumped back into slumber land. *Yawn!* Claus sprang out of bed and raced outside with his puppy. But, while he was outside playing with his precious pooch, he missed his chores! He also didn’t do his homework! Just imagine that! Sweet little Claus! Disobeying! This continued on for quite some time, until he would go away with his dog for days at a time! His parents knew not why he did this, but to make sure that he was there, every night he came home they would look into his room to see him waving happily. One night though, when they looked in his room, they were surprised to see the boy sitting there and-*Gasp*- doing his homework! His parents were so relieved! But, the second they left the room, Philippe sprang up to onto two feet and barked (no pun intended) at Claus. “What is wrong with you?” screamed Philippe! “I’m sorry master! I’ll never do it again!” squeaked the frightened Claus. “It takes the time away from us!” “I know! Just don’t release him! Oh no! Don’t do it! OH NOOO!”
After hearing these horrible noises, his parents sprang up and sprinted into his room. What they saw was so terrifying, that they literally screamed to death.
Short Story No. 2
Once, there was a happy couple, by the names of Mr. and Mrs. Wolfgang. They lived their lives, happily and carelessly, in the state of glamorous New York when suddenly, Mrs. Wolfgang became pregnant. “Oh joyous day! I’m going to be a father!” crooned Mr. Wolfgang joyously. This state of celestial joy lasted for about 9 months. Then, the baby came. “Oh my! He is so beautiful in every way!” stated the doting father. “Yes, he is my little angel! I love him more than god loves this fine green earth.” The elated couple decided to name him Maximilian Koenig Wolfgang. After the babe’s glorious birth, Mrs. Wolfgang said she wanted to go out to dinner at the best restaurant in the city. “Oh, but are you sure you are in a good condition to go out on the town, having just gave birth?” queried the questionable Mr. Wolfgang, with a quizzical look on his face. “Yes, darling, I’ll be fine. Let’s go off!” They put the baby in the care of Ms. Abigail Brown, a famous caretaker of children age two to five, and they darted off, as fast as a bullet! They had a great time, drank the best champagnes, met New York’s finest, and had a delectable dinner before fleeing of to their beautiful new apartment passionately embracing all the way. When they got to their humble apartment, they realized that Ms. Brown had forgotten to unlock the door! The confused couple had no idea what to do! So, they just stood there, passionately kissing, until Mr. Wolfgang had an idea! He would break the glass of the window, and creep inside! What a brilliant idea! But, after breaking the window and putting his wife halfway into the smashed window, the police appeared. “Hey! What’s going on here! Put your hands up!” Mr. Wolfgang was about to put his hands up when he realized that if he did his wife would be left teetering on the window. This would be a very uncomfortable position for a lady, and being a gentleman, Mr. Wolfgang knew that. So, he continued to slide her in to the window, and the police yelled: “Open fire! Breaking and entering on 34th street! I repeat: Open fire! Breaking and entering on 34th street!” the guns rattled off round after round after round at the poor couple, who were left dead at the scene of the “crime”. This meant that poor Maximilian Koenig Wolfgang was already an orphan, less than a day old. Soon, of course, discussion in the family erupted. “Who’s going to take care of the poor babe?” “Oh what shall we do?” “I’ll take care of the little tot!” Everyone turned around to see old Ms. Marie Boehm, the sixty-five year old mother of Mr. Wolfgang. She picked up the baby and scurried off, to raise him as her own.