The Joke Topic

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The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » February 23rd, 2008, 3:57 pm

Qyzbud basically covered all the the general threads, so far.

This thread's the cherry that goes on top. ;)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 24th, 2008, 12:10 pm

In Soviet Russia, joke tells you!!

Chuck Norris was walking down the street with an erection. No one survived.

So two guys walked into a bar. Ouch!

Is this thing on?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Tiptup Jr. » February 24th, 2008, 1:05 pm

Okay so two black guys walk into a bar.

And then two gay guys walk in.

And then the black guys kill the gay guys.

... :?

Uh... pickles?

Thank you, good night!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » February 24th, 2008, 2:01 pm

Oh my.

The Joke Thread strikes again.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 25th, 2008, 3:01 am

There are only two things I can't stand in this world:
1) People who are intollerant of other people's cultures
2) and the Dutch!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » February 25th, 2008, 5:27 am

cfh wrote:Oh my.

The Joke Thread strikes again.

No. This one's 'Attack of the Jokes' The next one would be The Joke Thread Strikes Back. ;)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 25th, 2008, 7:05 am

And then of course there will be the crappy Joke Thread prequels.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » February 25th, 2008, 7:10 am

But the Joke Thread games will still be pretty good.

(I think we should let this die now...)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 25th, 2008, 7:13 am

The only good one is Lego Joke Thread.

Anyway Batman, The Easter Bunny, and a smart Blonde are all sitting on a bench and a $100 dollar bill flys by. Who grabs it?
Spoiler!
No one. None of them exist.

Lovin' these new spoiler tags.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » February 25th, 2008, 7:45 am

cfh wrote:(I think we should let this die now...)

On the contrary, I think we should do CPR on it. :mrgreen:

EDIT: Wait! Wait! Wait! I got one that'll bring down the house!:

A man was praying to God and said "God? What's a million years to you?"
God: A million years to me is only a second.
Man: Hmmm :|... What's a million dollars to you?
God: A million dollars to me is a penny.
Man: ...*Thinks for a minute*... God, can I have a penny? :mrgreen:
God: Sure! :D... Just a second. ;)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 26th, 2008, 7:08 am

Nice.

A guy and his buddy are out hunting, and one accidentally shoots the other in the face. He calls 9-1-1 and tells them what happened. They say, "Calm down. Now the first thing you have to do is make sure he's dead." There's a long pause, and then a gunshot. The guys says, "OK, now what?"
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Qyzbud » February 27th, 2008, 11:04 am

Oh holy crap.

That is a brilliant example of miscommunication. Imagine how the officer would have felt... :)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » February 27th, 2008, 12:19 pm

Hed've said: They don't pay me enough to do this. :roll:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Tiptup Jr. » February 27th, 2008, 12:59 pm

That's what she said!

Ha... get it? 'Cuz she's a prostitute?

Oh, nevermind.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 28th, 2008, 8:09 am

No, he'd have said, "I'm getting too old for this crap".
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » February 28th, 2008, 3:10 pm

Something funny my friend said in his religion class at school a week ago:

Teacher: What did Jesus say when Judus kissed him on the cheek?
My Friend: "You suck! :("
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » February 29th, 2008, 8:26 am

Oh, I just remembered we can't swear on this forum. That's what's up with my previous post. Sorry. :oops:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » February 29th, 2008, 10:18 am

Can't we swear in this board? It's "Anything Goes" and it says so in the description.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Qyzbud » February 29th, 2008, 10:54 am

Yeah, you guys can swear in Anything Goes... no promises that it will look the way you intended, of course. :D
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 1st, 2008, 7:10 am

Ooooh, tricky. :D
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 1st, 2008, 9:37 am

I saw a show where a mad scientist said "I'm gonna put myself in this copy machine, and make copies of myself!... WHO'S CRAZY NOW!? :twisted:"

Then the copies came out wrong, and he said "DARN IT! :x It alway works perfect when people do it with their butts. :|"
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 1st, 2008, 11:57 am

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the world down.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » March 1st, 2008, 12:42 pm

No. No Chuck Norris jokes. They weren't even funny to begin with, and it doesn't help that everyone's already heard that one before.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 2nd, 2008, 9:27 am

I apologise if my jokes are a tad out of date. At least I'm not doing Yo momma jokes, right?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby nickp17 » March 6th, 2008, 2:22 pm

Tiptup Jr. wrote:Okay so two black guys walk into a bar.

And then two gay guys walk in.

And then the black guys kill the gay guys.

... :?



Haha My favorite.

I'm not racist by any stretch and I'm sure neither is tittup.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Tiptup Jr. » March 7th, 2008, 8:56 am

No, I'm not racist. I am a tad gaycist though, but I don't want to talk about that right now... ;)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 8th, 2008, 5:37 am

There is no need to ever bring that up again.

But what we do need to bring attention to is that Nick just called Tiptup Tittup. Very humorous indeed.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby nickp17 » March 8th, 2008, 5:45 am

=O

My bad. Haha that is pretty funny. :oops: :oops:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » March 8th, 2008, 6:53 am

Tittup... someone change his name to that now :lol:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 8th, 2008, 9:32 am

cfh wrote:Tittup... someone change his name to that now :lol:

Ah, leave tittup alone.

Poor Titptup
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Qyzbud » March 8th, 2008, 10:25 am

I... thought I disabled guest posting... :?:

Oh wait, I left it available for this Anything Goes board.

Joke's on me, now.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 8th, 2008, 10:30 am

Cmon, guys. :(

I couldn't help it, :oops: but once is enough for me.

It's just a joke, not a real insult.

I... thought I disabled guest posting...

Oh wait, I left it available for this Anything Goes board.

Joke's on me, now.

Can you delete my guest post, please? :oops:

Qyz says: Yup. However, now that 'invisible' t you put up there isn't quite invisible...
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 8th, 2008, 2:14 pm

It would be funnier if it was Tit tip. Alright, I guess that's far enough, though I wanted to make fun of other names, such as DongFu. Maybe later.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 8th, 2008, 2:18 pm

Qyzbudweiser. :P

Still think that pronunciation sounds better.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Qyzbud » March 8th, 2008, 3:28 pm

Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Kowbrainz » March 8th, 2008, 3:29 pm

Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:



That's the best joke I've heard in this thread. :P :lol:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 8th, 2008, 3:37 pm

Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:

Get it?

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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Kowbrainz » March 8th, 2008, 3:41 pm

Kong-Fu wrote:
Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:

You didn't get it?

QyzBudwieser


I think Qyz is smart enough to know what a Budwieser is... :roll:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Qyzbud » March 8th, 2008, 3:58 pm

Heh, yeah I got it. I just beat it with a better one. ;)
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Tiptup Jr. » March 9th, 2008, 8:05 am

Someone on YouTube called me Tittup once. I had nightmares for a week. :cry:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » March 9th, 2008, 10:14 am

There's no such thing as natural selection, only the animals Chuck Norris allows to exist.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby cfh » March 9th, 2008, 11:40 am

...another one everyone's heard...
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » March 10th, 2008, 7:29 am

I used to have super-human powers :?...

...but my psychiatrist took them away. :cry:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby BlueTronic » April 23rd, 2008, 12:49 pm

Hey, how come no one told any yo mama jokes yet? :|

Yo mama so fat she got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » April 24th, 2008, 6:42 am

I will take your mother to a nice seafood dinner, and then never call her again!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Tiptup Jr. » April 24th, 2008, 8:42 am

Oh no, it is I who will be taking your mother to a nice seafood dinner! And I will call her again! BWA HA HA! :twisted:

...Too creepy?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby Jomingo » April 24th, 2008, 10:20 am

No, perfect amount of creepy.

But your mom is too creepy! HA HA HA! :twisted:

Too mean?
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