Um... yeah, I'm a clinical scatter-brain so forgive me if this makes absolutely no sense. Basically weird
crap just happens to me all the time. So:
First of all I believe in God and stuff (this isn't gonna be a big religious post, relax) and have a relationship with him. My parents are both recently separated. My mom has a dangerous chemical imbalance that she's graciously passed on to me, and Dad's just... bleh. So anyway.
I'm sitting here at my computer when I get a text from a beautiful girl asking if I'm going to the school dance. I skipped school today, so I didn't know we had a dance- naturally it started within twenty minutes, so I rushed to shower, dress, and show up at the high school gym. Mission accomplished.
When I arrived my lady friend was nowhere to be found, and she texted me saying she left because she thought she wasn't dressed properly. I told her she looked fine regardless of what she was wearing, so she came back and we hung out. I was kinda nervous around her and not much dancing was done, but at one point she leaned in to me and said, "hey Batman, you really should have brought your cape!"
See, at Six Flags over Georgia during the summer I bought a Batman cape after going on the actual Batman ride. I started wearing it around everywhere at church events and football games, and eventually I became so popular that people had me signing autographs on twenty dollar bills. The cape gives me a certain confidence that I definitely lacked tonight, but I told her it was alright so we started getting a little more comfortable. It was at this point in time I discovered this particular female was capable of some rather, erm... suggestive movements. Ahem.
So eventually she had to leave, but she could tell I was upset so we shared a very passionate hug before she was gone. Then I was just standing there alone and some football players (friends of Batman) threw me into their circle and had the cheerleaders "cheer" me up by performing, again, certain movements (nothing like actual sex though) and I thought it was too much so I left for Walmart to buy me a pop. I came back until the dance was over, and eventually got a ride home.
Now normally this shouldn't have bothered anyone, but all the traumatic stuff that's ever happened in my life just made it different than usual. I realized today that I have literally no problem getting some trampy ho to screw around with, but it's better to wait for a meaningful relationship that you know will last. Your virginity is a pure and sacred thing that, once lost, can never be retrieved again. Regardless of your religious inclinations, I think we can all agree that certain extramarital relations should not be occurring among today's youth.
But away from all that, my mom called way after I got home and started crying, saying that she was sorry for putting me through so much and confirming my suspicion that we shared the same mental anomaly. It was then I realized that the only reason she, me, and my entire family haven't been killed is because somewhere in the universe, there's a governing force- be it a big cuddly God or what have you- that seems to have favored the human race above all else.
*now in summary...*
Posted: August 9th, 2009, 1:41 pm
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The irony hurts me! 
